i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
