Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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