Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
