ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Randomize
