We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
