i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
