Soap is not a condiment
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Randomize
