sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
