I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
