whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
i drank out of a bidet.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
