he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
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