just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
it glows. i had to have it.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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