hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Randomize
