I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
