I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize