she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
im six kinds of drunk right now
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
