someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
