its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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