I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
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