i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Randomize
