We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
