and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
How does it feel to date your dad?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
