NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
