I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
P.S. I can't hear my feet
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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