hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
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