Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
She's the barista slut.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
