I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Randomize