I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Randomize
