I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
