Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I pour the whiskey from now on
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
