I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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