Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
she looked like the before picture.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
