Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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