apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
