just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
