Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
