I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize