Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Who did Billy Mays play for?
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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