is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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