your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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