why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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