In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
