i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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