I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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