Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
