What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
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