its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
