Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
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