I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
