I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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