I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
