Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
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