Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
