i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I said "one day" and that day is not today
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