Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
