you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Im part way to drunk.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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