so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Randomize
