Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize
