So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
