Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
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