He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
should my penis look like a turkey
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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